i want to dig my teeth into the woody bark of each tree 

to taste the deadness and the life bound together in one bite 

i sit for a moment and the sky cracks open to greet me 

like a wondrous eye unblinking

in a moment of warmth i am seen by the light that sees all

i am drinking the sparkling gentleness of each breath of wind on the rippling surface 

i am eating the light in the branches through a feeding tube depositing faith directly into my core 

the leaves are dead and i am dead 

the tree is alive and i am alive 

the air is cold and the sunlight is piercing glowy strong and filtered soft 

the dirt beneath me is the same dirt i crawled on as an infant 

and marveled at as it joined with rain birthing luscious goopy mud 

the sense memory is in my toes and i can almost taste the bitter salty earthy 

bite of it on my tongue 

there is a blooming inside my chest fed by the homeness of it all 

i feel i have been bred and born of this jagged, freezing, endless cresting, dirt covered cradling net teeming with life.

i am home and i know it

what if this place were to sink?

it will sink 

what if this place were to burn?

it will burn

(it has burnt)

what if we are forced to abandon,

sever the fishing line tied to root planted and grown over? 

i hear the calling of souls disconnected from their place 

the voice of my fathers fathers father who's line was shot with an unfired gun and a credible threat 

the gasping guttural moan of the ones who's bones make up this dirt I cherish 

the holes splintered in this net render it useless 

it was tied with such care 

knotted and spun 

crafted to hold us 

the weight of our bodies pulling the fiber taught, making it strong 

i will re learn my knots 

i will tie my family's thread to yours 

i will melt the paracord with the burning in my heart 

i will mend 

i will darn 

i will feel the dirt between my toes and bless the memory of your bones with each step.